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7月30日

McCain Horoscope

You are in line for promotion soon.  All you have to do to win is keep your mouth shut and choose a fundamentalist Christian running mate who is younger than you.  Piece of cake.
7月25日

Nostradamus Burger

"One of these days you'll think of me, squirm in your seat,  grin nervously, and wish to Christ that the guy sitting across from you at the moment would say something interesting enough to allow you to change the subject."
 
From Drive-through Horoscopes, 2008 and Beyond
7月15日

Digging In

For those of you who think that the '60's was the most turbulent, dangerous time in American history I have one suggestion:  review GWB's two terms.  If you don't have time for that, just listen to the press conference he held today.
 
The '60's had the SDS, the Black Panthers, controversy, Vietnam, Nixon, and hope.  Today we have the War Without End, fear, the "My Country Right or Wrong" mentality, and the choice of either Obama or McCain.
 
You choose.  
 
 
7月6日

Another Faith Based Initiative

"Both revelation and delusion are attempts at the solution of problems.  Artists and scientists realize that no solution is ever final, but that each new creative step points the way to the next artistic or scientific problem.  In contrast, those who embrace religious revelation and delusional systems tend to see them as unshakeable and permanent...
The majority of mankind... are not necessarily dismayed by the discovery that their (religious) belief system, which they proclaim as "the truth" is incompatible with the beliefs of other people.  One man's faith is another man's delusion..."
 
Anthony Stone, Feet of Clay:  Saints, Sinners and Madmen:  A Study of Gurus
 
 
_____________________________________________________________
"The monkey sat on a pile of stones
And he stared at the broken bone in his hand
And the strains Viennese quartet
Rang out across the land
The monkey looked up at the stars
And he thought to himself
Memory is a stranger
History is for fools...
And the Germans killed the Jews
And the Jews killed the Arabs
And Arabs killed the hostages
And that is the news
And is it any wonder
That the monkey's confused"
 
Roger Waters, "Perfect Sense, Part I"
 
________________________________________________________
Baudelaire opened
up a hamburger stand
in San Francisco,
but he put flowers
between the buns.
People would come in
and say, “Give me a
hamburger with plenty
of onions on it.”
Baudelaire would give
them a flowerburger
instead and the people
would say, “What kind
of a hamburger stand
is this?”
 
by Richard Brautigan
 

 
7月1日

Nuclear Fire

Yesterday I glowed with a radioactive isotope shot into my vein at 9am.  At 1pm pictures were taken of my bones.  It was hot in the scan room and the 45 minutes seemed to take 2 hours.  I saw the pictures on a computer terminal, so I know they were real, right?  When I got up after the scan my back hurt.  I pissed radioactive for the next 24 hours.  I was aglow with nuclear fire.  I was starshine.  As insignificant as I am in the universe, I was on fire for a time with elementary particles, like a minor sun, and wishing I had purchased that 1950's era geiger counter when I had the chance at a radio swap meet in Rochester in 1993 to measure the intensity a vial of my piss...

Today I purged myself of all radioactivity with wine and milk thistle capsules as I made spaghetti sauce and mowed the lawn. 

Life is strange, for sure.  It's also good.