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August 17 3" X 5" CardI've come to the conclusion that this isn't a blog or a drive-through and that the internet isn't high-tech news at all.
It's more like the outdoor cork bulletin board at the farm store in town plastered with odd chunks of notebook paper and 3" X 5" cards. Here are some examples:
1. Wanted desperately (next few words illegible due to raindrops falling on water-soluble ink).
2, For Sale: Old baby clothes and a .22 autoloader. Call (phone number ripped off by somebody who wants either baby clothes or a rifle).
So I get a call:
Caller: "I'm calling about the 4WD ATV you have for sale."
Me: "I don't have an ATV for sale, sorry."
Caller: "I got your number from the bulletin board at the farm store downtown."
Me: "There has been some mistake, I had a card on that board but it wasn't about an ATV for sale. I've never owned an ATV and never will."
Caller: "What was your ad for?"
Me: "Not an ATV."
Caller: <CLICK>
I guess that's just the way it goes around here.
Music that somehow seems to fit: Joni Mitchell, Free Man in Paris
August 12 Not So Typical AugustUsually by this time of summer here in NNY the grass is brown, the rivers and the creeks are down, and it is as hot as Hades. The past few weeks have been rainy and cool. In between raindrops and thundershowers and hail I've been trying to keep up with the lawn mowing. I've had little time to myself but I am learning to live with it. We are adaptable creatures. "Ya can't always get what you want...."
The single, most enjoyable project has been listening to the Collected Works of J.S. Bach, 155 CD's, one at a time. It will probably take years to hear them all. Very well, I will cheat Death yet again in an attempt to hear every single recording in the collection.
Other projects: To learn Word 2007 (just updated an old 2002 version) and PowerPoint. Wish me luck. Not with the Microsoft tutorials.... with the business about cheating Death and getting in a few more warm, sunny days before summer ends.
August 07 News to Go; hold the onions Life around here is like circling an airport in a storm: can't land, flying blind, low on fuel and tired. High point of the week was making some dynamite tartar sauce: homemade mayonnaise, an additional shot of lemon juice and extra virgin olive oil, finely chopped green onions, olives and sour pickle, and a dash of chopped dill. I would have added capers but I ran out of them in July.
July 30 McCain HoroscopeYou are in line for promotion soon. All you have to do to win is keep your mouth shut and choose a fundamentalist Christian running mate who is younger than you. Piece of cake. July 25 Nostradamus Burger"One of these days you'll think of me, squirm in your seat, grin nervously, and wish to Christ that the guy sitting across from you at the moment would say something interesting enough to allow you to change the subject."
From Drive-through Horoscopes, 2008 and Beyond July 15 Digging InFor those of you who think that the '60's was the most turbulent, dangerous time in American history I have one suggestion: review GWB's two terms. If you don't have time for that, just listen to the press conference he held today.
The '60's had the SDS, the Black Panthers, controversy, Vietnam, Nixon, and hope. Today we have the War Without End, fear, the "My Country Right or Wrong" mentality, and the choice of either Obama or McCain.
You choose.
July 06 Another Faith Based Initiative"Both revelation and delusion are attempts at the solution of problems. Artists and scientists realize that no solution is ever final, but that each new creative step points the way to the next artistic or scientific problem. In contrast, those who embrace religious revelation and delusional systems tend to see them as unshakeable and permanent...
The majority of mankind... are not necessarily dismayed by the discovery that their (religious) belief system, which they proclaim as "the truth" is incompatible with the beliefs of other people. One man's faith is another man's delusion..."
Anthony Stone, Feet of Clay: Saints, Sinners and Madmen: A Study of Gurus
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"The monkey sat on a pile of stones
And he stared at the broken bone in his hand And the strains Viennese quartet Rang out across the land The monkey looked up at the stars And he thought to himself Memory is a stranger History is for fools... And the Germans killed the Jews
And the Jews killed the Arabs And Arabs killed the hostages And that is the news And is it any wonder That the monkey's confused" Roger Waters, "Perfect Sense, Part I"
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Baudelaire opened
up a hamburger stand in San Francisco, but he put flowers between the buns. People would come in and say, “Give me a hamburger with plenty of onions on it.” Baudelaire would give them a flowerburger instead and the people would say, “What kind of a hamburger stand is this?” by Richard Brautigan
July 01 Nuclear FireYesterday I glowed with a radioactive isotope shot into my vein at 9am. At 1pm pictures were taken of my bones. It was hot in the scan room and the 45 minutes seemed to take 2 hours. I saw the pictures on a computer terminal, so I know they were real, right? When I got up after the scan my back hurt. I pissed radioactive for the next 24 hours. I was aglow with nuclear fire. I was starshine. As insignificant as I am in the universe, I was on fire for a time with elementary particles, like a minor sun, and wishing I had purchased that 1950's era geiger counter when I had the chance at a radio swap meet in Rochester in 1993 to measure the intensity a vial of my piss... Today I purged myself of all radioactivity with wine and milk thistle capsules as I made spaghetti sauce and mowed the lawn. Life is strange, for sure. It's also good. June 27 Mistakes ReduxGuilty, as individuals and as a culture. We should know better.
The media is full of 40th anniversary flashbacks to 1968: the "Summer of Love," Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, the Tet Offensive.... the media is full of lots of stuff. Our news sources feed us exactly what we want to hear even if it isn't true and we eat it up. 40 years ago we were fighting an unpopular, unilateral, unjustified war in SE Asia. Today we're repeating the same actions in the Mideast. We are displaying mental and moral illness: repeating the same faulty actions over and over again but expecting a different, positive outcome this time around. If a naive child intentionally puts his hand on a hot stove we write it off the first time. If he does it again a 2nd, 3rd and 4th time, we wonder if he's a bit slow. We do that as parents. We don't seem to have the same concern as citizens, do we?
Change was what 1968 was all about. Some proposals were valid and universal. Some were hedonistic and unrealistic. Here's a line from a song by a dead guy that reflects 1968, his era, and today:
"We gotta make a change...
It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes. Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live and let's change the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do what we gotta do, to survive." June 18 America, AmericaNow they want a bone scan. Wonderful. What a way to start the summer.
Made me think a little: what are the advantages that the US offers in 2008 compared to the rest of the world?
Stable economy? Look at the stock market, the relative value of the dollar, the unemployment rate, the price of energy, the housing market, the balance of payments.
Beacon of democratic values? Remember rendition, our record of torture, our domestic incarceration rate, the Justice Department scandals, our unilateral military record in the past 5 years.
Domestic accomplishments? Google our international standings on elementary & High School achievement, mortality, and poverty rates.
We excel in a few areas:
Highest per-capita energy use of any nation on earth.
The world's best testing and major medical system. If you are a Saudi Prince, an elected federal official, independently wealthy, or one of the lucky ones with good medical coverage, and in need of surgery for cancer, a transplant, or heart surgery, the US is the place to visit. Otherwise you get to go to the local emergency room.
The most prestigious university degrees. If you are a Saudi prince, your dad is an elected federal official, or you are independently wealthy, a Harvard or Yale PhD is well within your grasp. If you are an average US citizen.... here's a clue: After a tour during the Vietnam era and 20 years of total military service I was eligible for enough funding to finish the last 2 years of a B.S. through a NYS external degree program (mail order credentials, yes?) I couldn't afford the room and board to complete it in residence at a NYS campus. My daughter financed herself through a Masters degree and is now facing $100,000 in student loan repayments. My son is on active duty in the Army and will get out with enough to pay for an Associates degree from a nonresident state community college.
What's the point you say? Because I have medical insurance I will get an expensive test based on "inconclusive blood work results." I have no symptoms or problems but I DO have insurance through my spouse's employer. Luck of the draw. If I didn't have it, there would be no bone scan. Meanwhile my next door neighbor's kid with asthma and no health insurance coughs and gasps for air when the ragweed blooms. They live across the road. Might as well live in another country. Chances are she won't go to Harvard, either.
If I were a NY Senator or the President I would ask myself, "what kind of a hamburger stand is this?"
June 15 Just Another SundayA perfect late spring day upstate. Birds in the yard, lawn mostly mowed, and I'm keeping my own solitary company for a change. The past few weeks have been full of appointments, social engagements with neighbors, friends and relatives, and all the chores that have to be done at the end of winter. I've processed about 20 pounds of fresh ground pork into bulk sausage and meatballs, made some more kimchee, and experimented with home cured corned beef and smoked pastrami. A few failures, a few pleasant surprises.
I've talked with more people in the past few weeks than in the past two years... went to several parties at friends' houses, attended a peace rally, caught a blues concert in a nearby city, negotiated with a number of contractors called in to do work at the house, and cut 4" off my beard the other day. I look almost human for the first time in over a year. If the heat gets any worse I may shave all the way down to my facial skin before summer ends. For trips to town I've taken to wearing real clothing and shoes instead of sweat pants and bedroom slippers. I quit smoking then fell off the wagon. I smoke 5 or 6 ciggies a day instead of a pack or two.
Because of petty and unplanned personal setbacks (real life bites us all in the backside sometimes) I've lost contact with my closest friends, the ones I really care about. I regret that loss. I offer no excuses. My story isn't special or extraordinary in the least... we've all been there, done that. Failures and experiments gone wrong vs. the occasional pleasant surprise. As long as we do our best and keep a bit of our sense of humor what more could we ask for?
I'll gladly take a day like today whenever it happens.
June 01 Vanity of Vanities"In less than a year the Bush administration
will strut ot of office leaving the country
in roughly the same condition
a toddler leaves a diaper."
Graydon Carter
Editor of Vanity Fair
Despite multiple pages of glitzy, expensive ads by Cartier, Disney, Rolex, Lexus, Tiffany, Ralph Lauren, and so on for conspicuous consumers of high-end retail goodies, and the mandatory vignettes of the Rich, Famous, Beautiful and The Recently Busted, Vanity Fair Magazine is still worth the price of admission just because the editor HATES Bush. Besides that, there is usally an article or two well worth the read.
"vanity of vanities; all is vanity...
Is there anything whereof it may be said, See this is new?
it has been already of old time, which was before us.
There is no rembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come
with those that shall come after..."
from Ecclesiates, King James version
The biblical way of saying we're doomed to repeat the same mistakes we made before: The Roman Empire, Vietnam, the Third Reich, the Nixon Imperial Presidency, warfare rather than diplomacy.
Let's come right out and admit it: Vanity Fair just might be the serial voice of 21st Century America that captures our national vision between two covers for a buck fifty per month: 90% fantasy, bling, success oriented, corporate sponsored and selfish vs. 10% substance.
Abbie Hoffman was arrested for wearing an American flag shirt in the 60's in a political protest of US involvement in SE Asia(dishonoring a Sacred American Symbol) yet Keith Richards is pictured in a two page ad in this month's Vanity Fair advertising a $2000 + Louis Vuitton leather briefcase for personal financial gain. What's with that? An icon is an icon after all. Which is more obscene?
Drive through bottom line: Live and let live. Let Hitler be Hitler and Pol Pot be himself. The same for Nixon and Bush and Caligula and Nero and George III. Let them do what they want to do until it comes to the point where entire countries, empires, and social systems are in danger of collapsing due to mismanagement and ignorance.
I wonder what "vanity fair" is in Latin?
p.s.
Physically I'm in worse shape than I've ever been and 8 years into another generation's century. Psychologically and politically, I'm still 22 and ready for the Second Tea Party, hence, dangerous with nothing to lose, and probably on a government list.
That's the news from the backwoods.
May 25 Here Comes SummerThanks to eight years of Republican stewardship of America my monthly heating bill on the "budget plan" is now higher than the mortgage payment (including mortgage insurance and taxes) on the first house I bought in 1979. Gas is over $4/gal. and heating oil is about the same.
There are way too many petty distractions and obligations right now to go into details about what's happening in this corner of the woods. Suffice it to say that the coming of warm weather and sunshine just today has lightened my spirits considerably.
Hope to make a real entry soon. Until then, smoke 'em if you got 'em. May 18 Armed Forces DayA Festival came to our conservative Republican town on Saturday complete with music, booths with information about VA benefits for the troops, and a number of anti-war groups who make the case that the best way to support our military and our strategic national interests is to end the war in the mideast.
May 04 May WeekendObama and Clinton, the two Democratic Party candidates for US President who claim to represent the interests of the "average American" have both jumped into a rabbit hole. Our curiosity has caused us to follow them:
"In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again."
Both of them are multi-millionaires who are spending $100,000/day each for political ads in Indiana and North Carolina campaigns this week. Both have government jobs (which they're getting paid for even if they don't show up to cast their votes,) both have full medical insurance and a guaranteed pension. Neither one conserves gas or personally cares about the price of fuel oil hitting $4 bucks/gal. Neither one has an exit strategy for Iraq, a comprehensive vision about America's role as the world's policeman, or a clue about how to improve the economic situation for millions of US citizens.
Obama is trying to represent himself as a liberal, black, political outsider (but not TOO black or WAY liberal.) Instead of engaging in a meaningful dialogue about racial issues, poverty, and other social problems he's trying to present himself as a "fresh, feel-good" candidate. Hillary is walking the tightrope between being perceived as a strong leader/loud talker but not a raving menopausal bitch. Neither candidate represents me or the middle class majority or minorities or women because they don't represent what it is to be a Democrat. "Drink Me." "Sell the sizzle, 'cause we're out of steak." "Vote for me because I suck less."
Meanwhile, McCain is playing the role of the Queen of Hearts while grinning like the Cheshire Cat. He knows he should continue to sit quietly in his tree while Obama and Clinton duke it out. One of his opponents will cut off the head of the other this summer without any effort on his part. Then he and ONE Democrat will play croquet - on his terms, his field, his mallets, his ball, his rules. If McCain continues to follow the advice of his political advisors and keeps his mouth shut he will win the election. He's a war hero, experienced, tough on crime, supportive of the troops, and will remind us constantly of 9/11. Never mind that he's a pure-bred Republican willing to keep our military in the mideast for a hundred years. Never mind that he has no intention to fix the country's healthcare issue, thinks that Roe v. Wade should be overturned, and is the candidate of the Republican party which unilaterally got us involved in Iraq for all the wrong reasons.
April 26 Nothing normalStrange, strange spring.
Major life changes (of my choice) accompanied by petty appointments, projects and details beyond my control. Almost every day in May and June has an entry on the calendar where there should be white spaces and possibilities. I'd rather ad-lib than pencil in. The more I get out and interact with the "real world" the more I want to retreat from it... Relatives and lawyers and contractors...
I feel a bit like Emily Dickinson... so much needing to be said and I so unable to express it in an acceptable, socially comfortable way...
No big deal. I am confused but not depressed. That's a good thing.
The end of May is looking sweet. So is a July visit to Syracuse's Landmark Theatre by Mark Knopfler (of Dire Straits). Tickets run in the neighborhood of $75-$120 but compared with fuel oil at an expected $5.00/gallon this coming heating season, they are a bargain.
April 17 Three Strikes You're OutThird revision here.
Conventional wisdom and urban myth has it that a drowning victim only has two chances. The third time below the surface is the last. Same deal for convicted felons and baseball batters.
I, however, bob like a cork. I've been blessed with numerous chances and I'm thankful for all of them. The only concession I made to conventional wisdom in opening this site again was to delete everything I've ever said except for the poetry which you've either read or don't care about anyhow. I happen to have a personal need to keep it.
One door closes, another opens. So goes the optimist theme song.
Open for business again. January 23 Should Have Flowers, PoemsYes, he should have given you those.
He, your first choice...
He didn't. He was young and clueless.
He has excuses.
I came along later; I knew better.
I, too, especially, absolutely,
should have given you flowers, poems,
overlooked your minor faults,
put your sweet ass on that pedestal
of all imagining
where you belong.
Should have told you that you were
You... nothing more or less... exactly
what I most needed and never expected.
I was worse for you than he was.
I gave you trouble.
You scared me.
Wanted your thoughts,
your love,
to say thank you,
to put my hands between your legs,
to wash your bathroom floor, your feet,
to convince you that you are
way
more
than you imagine.
You deserve more than either he or I can give.
You should have flowers,
and poems
always.
January 04 Aftermath
December 21, 2005
Following the celebration of lights,
a million Christmas trees Their needles will leave
For a few days
(cas, 2005) January 03 Venus vs. MarsWe who love you most
pass through you
constantly
like neutrinos
from a distant star.
You don't know we're there,
have no idea of our speed, our spin,
the fact that we
love you at all. We choose
not to make ourselves known but
remain invisible.
While you choose him, instead,
who moves slowly,
who makes your nipples hard,
who loves you for one thing only.
We've passed through you
at 186,000 miles per second
every day.
Try as you might
there is no way
you're fast enough -
no way
you can rip our hearts out -
no way
you can make us love you less.
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